“Whatever We Focus on We Give Power To”
I am a great believer in that saying and Rob and I have learned over the years to live by this is wisdom. The power of our thoughts and what we focus on is huge and it has the ability to make or break us. Together, we have learned that we can overcome so many challenges in life by simply focusing on what good can come out of the challenge rather than thinking of all the things that can go wrong and the bad that can come out of it.
I was raised by the most amazing parents and I will be forever grateful for all they deposited into me as a person. My gorgeous father was a man who always saw what could go wrong and always worried about it. Growing up with that knowledge, I made up my mind that I was going to live a life with a positive attitude expecting the best and never the worst in all situations. I have discovered and seen for myself that when we focus on the negative we will always find it. But, opposite is true, when we focus on the positive we will always find it. Personally, I would much rather have a life expecting good than bad in any situation or person.
One of our children, when they were young, often worried about things before they even occurred. I could see my father in them. I could see how their thoughts gave power to the negative and things always seemed so much worse than they really were. I spent a lot of time helping that child see how if they focussed on what could go wrong instead of what could go right the would miss out on so much fun in life. I would always prepare that child as best as possible as to what was coming up and endeavour to help them be prepared if things didn’t go quiet like they had expected.
I did this by always havin a plan of action of how my sweet child could turn things around if they just accepted things for what they were and then see what good could come out of it. Rob and I spent time listening to the fears and then got helped to focus on the good possibilities that could occur spending much more time on these until we were knew the focus had shifted and they were actually excited about the event rather than fearing it. Focusing on the great possibilities empowered those possibilities and they always came to fruishion. Now, as an adult this child focuses on things very differently, a beautiful learned behaviour. Now, they think the best even if fear tries to creep in and negativity knocks at the door. Choosing where to focus, on the positive rather than the negative has brought feedom and success.
Now, let’s be honest, this sounds easy and if life were a dream or a bowl of cherry’s and the stars were all aligned every day would be like a happy Disney story. Alas, let’s face it, life throws us some curly situations at times. It’s not always easy, however, it’s not what happens to us that defines us, it’s how we bring the good out of it all that makes all the difference between a life enjoyed and a life endured.
It is exactly the same when it comes to enjoying our partners, children, family and friends. Not one of are perfect and there are always times where we can be annoyed by others, they might make us uptight and we feel frustrated by them again and again. These are perfect times to stop and check what we are focussing on. Are we focused only on what is annoying about that person or are we deliberately focusing on the good things about them? If we are looking for the faults we will find them for sure. If we are looking for the great things about them we will find the great within and our outlook about that person will change.
We are able to empower the annoying things by focusing on them or we CAN empower the good things about that person and relationship when we focus on them. You will be in a position to enjoy them instead of them annoying you all the time. I know Rob and I have had to practice this with each other over the years. No marriage can survive and flourish without the decision to focus on what are the strengths about the other person and giving power to those instead of giving power to the faults by focusing on them. This is the same with our children, if we focus on the things about them that are annoying us that’s what we empower. CAUTION: Be careful of what you are focusing on especially teenagers, if you focus on the good you empower the good, if you focus on the annoying things you empower those annoying things.
- Where is your focus right now?
- Can you say you expect things to work out good for you and your family or do you always see what is wrong and what can go wrong?
- What are you empowering by your focus?
Life is so much more enjoyable for those who make sure their focus is on positive things rather than negative. I believe we all have to make a conscious decision to keep our focus on the good in situations and in people. Even the most positive person can have their focus slip requiring them to pull themselves up to refocus so they can go forward in a positive way. We as parents can make a huge difference in the lives of our children and grandchildren impacting how they view life and whether they have a healthy focus or not. If we are leading the way of always focusing on the negative in people or situations they often have the same focus in life. If we have a lifestyle of focusing on what could go right and how great things could be, how everyone has potential with in them and is valuable our children will have this same focus in life.
How are we empowering our children and their focus on life? Do a quick check and take notes for yourself and see what they are focusing on. How has your focus helped them to see things the way they do? Or, how can we help their focus be healthy expecting things to go well for them whilst expecting the best in others?
Always remember, if you live focussed on the right things, you have the power to live in such a way that you and your children can fully enjoy life, no matter what comes your way. Whatever you are focused on is where you are headed and where you will end up.