Parenting has got to be one of the hardest and most rewarding jobs all tied in one colossal life experience. Some days you are on top of the world and feel like you are bulletproof when it comes to your parenting skills, and then other days you need to be peeled off the floor whilst being reminded that you are a good parent.
Our kids have the power to lift us like no one else on the planet. A touch of their hand, a kiss from their lips, that longing look they send out over the sports field hoping you’re there watching, or, the smile they search for as they stand on a stage ready to perform, needing just one reassuring glace from you. Just as they can build you, they can cause you to crumble like no other as well. I’ve heard it said that if you need the truth about your life, your fashion or any clear advice, ‘ask your teenage child’. They have this unique ability to cut through it all and lay you flat or lift you up.
Parenting. It’s hard. It’s beautiful, and in words crafted by Glennon Doyle, more accurately it’s BRUTIFUL (beauty and brutal combined).
I recently came across a video by Dr Justin Coulson PhD, the founder of Happy Families, where he was talking about how he and his wife are raising six girls and at the time, his oldest who was 17, was frustrated about not being invited to a party due to the rules their family had. Dr Coulson explains the conversation in great detail allowing us, parents, a glimpse into how we can dialogue with our kids in a way that shows how we can parent from a place of autonomy rather than a place of control. Dr Coulson ends the video by saying that ‘autonomy leverages trust which creates massive influence‘.
Take a moment and watch the video linked again here. We must parent from a place that teaches independence, and that allows freedom to be the overarching goal, dream or vision. It’s tough, I know but I also know that as you establish rules in your home, especially when your kids are little, and you live by them in a way that points towards freedom then you will see your children making incredible decisions within the structure that has been created.
Lastly, I know I’ve written a lot about boundaries, freedom, teaching our kids so I thought I’d add a link if you’re interested in going back and having a look at some of those previous articles. I’ve enjoyed reading them and have got something out of them myself. I hope you enjoy. Click here for previous articles.