As a mother with adult children I have become very aware of how the self esteem of both Rob (my hubby) and myself has had on our children and now our grandchildren. Hindsight, being 20/20, has given me a unique perspective, allowing me the opportunity to look back and see, even as a young parent, how our esteem played a huge role.
Our confidence in our identity and knowing who we are, automatically transfers onto our children. This way of being, knowing and living provides a strong foundation for our children and one that they can springboard off of, helping them create a strong identity of their own.
In saying this, the opposite is also true, insecurity and lack of confidence also affects our children. Our children are often a reflection of our true self. You may remember the article I wrote called ‘Monkey See, Monkey Do’. This is where our actions, our words and the way we live out our identity impacts those around us.
As a parent today, one of the greatest conversations I have with my children is about identity and hearing them talk about how Rob and I walked in the confidence of who we were impacted them. Knowing that we were secure in ourselves and we spoke that into them produced confidence, life and freedom for them to walk in.
As you’re reading this and (perhaps) thinking, ‘Great, Sue. Glad you made all this happen and you helped your kids in this area but I’m failing miserably’. Can I stress that we aren’t and never have been perfect parents. Yes, we have made our fair share of mistakes along the way and I’m thankful for forgiveness, second chances and the understanding that tomorrow is another day. Here’s the thing, you don’t have to be perfect parents (because they don’t exist) to produce great children. Gosh, imagine if that were a prerequisite, wouldn’t we all be in big trouble.
In talking to my children, I love hearing about the different situations they have found themselves in and still find themselves in. I am grateful that they have found encouragement by observing Rob and I as we have walked through our challenges, yet remained confident of great outcomes simply because we have known who we are and why we are here.
We all know that life is not (always) a bed of roses. We all have challenges every day, week, month and sometimes years. What I have discovered, through it all, is that when we meet our challenges with a strong foundation of healthy identity, the challenges are much easier to work through and the results always look better.
None of us were created to live a life with limitations that hold us back and one that finds us wishing our lives could be different. Rather, we were created to walk in complete confident of who we are. We are meant to understand our value and worth and live a life full of hope and dreams for ourselves and our children, confident that our future is secure.
Regardless of your past, I would like to remind you that you are extremely valuable and the value that was placed into and over you at conception, that was realised at birth, cannot increase or decrease. YOU ARE YOU AND YOU ARE WONDERFULLY UNIQUE!!!
You were born full of potential, value and worth. Sadly, as we journey through life, we can get knocked about, our identity can shake and we can begin to doubt our worth and start to have low self esteem.
Thankfully, self esteem has been something I have nutured over the years. Like many of you, life has happened to me and I have had to cultivate this strong knowing of who I am. I have had to learn how to stay strong, to remain in confidence and to walk in the fullness of who I have been created to be. Today, I would like to encourage you to do the same. Life is a journey, not a destination, we are all continually growing in this as life goes on. We have a choice, we either grow more and more confident in who we are, or less and less as life goes on. We need to be deliberate and intentional as we build strong awareness within ourselves because if we don’t, others will give us their opinions and we will believe lies instead of the truth. As I said last week, you were created to be loved, to receive love and to give love.
Understanding you identity and realising how special you are places you in a position to truly receive and give love in a healthy way. Over the next few weeks I feel encouraged to share more on this. I hope you will stick with this conversation as I share openly and honestly, all in an effort to help you see how amazing you. Once you get a revelation of that, you will see your life change and the impact you will have on your children will go from strength to strengh. I look forward to empowering you to be the best version of you that you are designed to be.