Screen Shot 2016-01-13 at 5.28.27 pm“Successful women rise above their failures. They rise above criticism. They don’t get even. They don’t cause a scene. They don’t get caught up in the drama. Instead, they stay focused. They are diligent. They don’t just talk they do!” I enjoyed this quote from The She Is Project. As I read this quote, I was stirred to look at myself and see if I was living like a successful women or not.

This quote applies to not just women but men as well and it also applies to our children if they wish to be successful. Success, of course, has very many different faces and depending on your perception of what success is will determine what you want to be successful at.

However, I do believe this formula is a very critical factor in our achieving success in our lifetime. I love how it starts with “They rise above their failures” We all have our failures and we are never in a position to say that we will never fail again. The good news is that failures don’t disqualify us from success, they often push us further forward if we are willing to recognise them and deal with them without blaming someone else for them. When we accept responsibility for our failures, we can look at how they came about and then what we need to do to overcome them. We need to be careful to be honest with ourselves and see where we need to grow and often make changes in our approach to challenges or our behaviour.

Sometimes it is just a small change needed, sometimes we may need to be a bit self-sacrificing and make huge changes but change is always required to overcome any failure. There is a powerful quote from Albert Einstein that I use regularly. It says, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.” To rise above failure, there will need to be a change. “They rise above criticism” This is often the hardest thing to do especially when we feel it is unfair criticism.

Either way, fair or not, we have to rise above criticism. The only way I know how to do this is to be confident in who I am and my purpose plus remember that we are all imperfect people and so not to expect everyone to treat me perfectly. Hurting people hurt people is one I like to remember. This helps me forgive and move on. To rise above criticism is one of the most empowering skills we can ever learn. There will always be someone who is feeling bad about themselves and then feel the need to pull you down so they hopefully will feel better about themselves.

When people do criticise you, stop and work out if it is constructive criticism – which is something we all need from time to time. Or, is it coming from someone who is lacking in confidence themselves? If we recognise where the criticism is coming from, whether it be a constructive, helpful source. Or, is it from someone who is trying to add value to us so we can grow? If so, then take it on board so you can turn things around and rise above it by working on the areas needed to be improved, so you can be successful.

If the criticism is devaluing, you then believe in yourself, back yourself and don’t go into defence mode. You may not ever be able to change their minds but you don’t have to take it on board and believe it. When we jump into defence mode we only add to the fire, if we don’t give them any fuel, the fire can’t spread or get bigger, it runs out of oxygen and dies. “They don’t get even” I have learnt in life that when someone comes against us, one of the quickest ways to overcome is to respond in the opposite spirit. When we don’t pick up the offence but respectfully respond out of a place of calm and confidence in ourselves, a good result is had and we can walk forward instead of being hindered. “They don’t cause a scene. They don’t get caught up in the drama.” Instead, they stay focused. “A successful person I believe instead of coursing a scene and being involved in drama, creates an atmosphere where they can freely respond positively even if it is a limited response of “that’s interesting” or ” let me think on that one” or “I’ll look into it”.

You see, we need to give some response, try not to give a reaction but calmly give yourself space to be able to think before you respond. “They stay focused.” I believe this is crucial to success, staying focused through the tough times, times of doubt in yourself, doubt from others or when the circumstances just don’t look promising, it is so important. You need to be passionate about where you are headed before you start because this passion will stir your spirit to keep going no matter what.

Write out what you are passionate about, your vision and dream and why it is so important to you and keep it in a place where you can read it out aloud to yourself when doubt comes. “They are diligent. They don’t just talk they do. Diligent means constant, persistent to accomplish something” These are the parts of success.

Let’s face it, success sounds amazing but to get there isn’t easy. It never has been.  Constant persistence and effort are something all successful people in whatever they are successful at will tell you are ingredients you just can’t leave out even when you badly want to in hard times or when you are tired. If it’s a successful marriage, business, parenting, government, career or whatever, these two things, persistence and effort, play an enormous role in the success. People who have these characteristics are the ones that don’t just “say”, they “do”!

So as parents and grandparents we need to show what it is to be
successful. We need to help the young ones learn that success comes from all these ingredients. I realise as I looked at myself, that I am not perfect in any of these areas, however, they are all areas I have worked hard on over the years and I’m thankful that I can see myself growing in them all. Let’s inspire each other to grow in our successes and make sure we are encouraging our children that they too can develop these characteristics and be successful in their lifetime. We are all born full of potential and made for success. A question we should ask ourselves is: Are we as parents who are creating an atmosphere of success in our marriages and families which in turn creates a safe atmosphere for our children to learn how to be successful?

Be blessed and successful in 2016 abounding in every blessing that has been designed especially for you and your precious family.