Today I had the opportunity to spend some quality time with a beautiful young friend of mine. She is a young mother in her thirties who recently had a lovely week away with her husband celebrating their 14th wedding anniversary.
She planned a special time away in the Blue Mountains. Such a beautiful place to relax, recharge and enjoy one another. Her plan was to celebrate and also take the opportunity to make a declaration about the future of their marriage. Their desire – that they would interact, within their marriage in a more positive way. It’s important to note that they currently have a good marriage. But good wasn’t what they wanted to experience going forward. They wanted deeper, richer, stronger. A more uplifting union whereby the valued one another at a deeper level.
I love this young woman. She is very real and in her realness, she is willing to acknowledge that they could improve in the area of honour and how they empower each other to reach their full potential.
For their time away, she organised that they would stay somewhere that meant a lot to her. A place where she had wonderful childhood memories. With great anticipation, she made sure all the things they enjoy together were available. There was a beautiful warm, romantic fire allowing them the opportunity to snuggle and relax. There was exploring the picturesque landscape which boasts some of the most spectacular Australian bush and many quaint cafes and little towns for them to enjoy together.
As she shared this with me, there was something very specific that stood out to me. As part of their anniversary celebration, my young friend had bought her husband a special gift. The gift was one that she knew would make a strong statement about their relationship – both as a couple and with their only child. She wanted him to know how much she valued him as a husband and as the father of her precious child.
This gift was significant because she knows that neither of them is perfect (ha… who is) but she wanted this anniversary to be a defining moment in their lives, one that they could go back to in years to come and recognise it as a turning point in their relationship. In my opinion, this gift will serve as a beautiful anchor to the decisions, declarations and commitment they made that weekend. Because this gift was so significant and so unique, much thought, imagination, love and effort went into this particular gift. In fact, she had arranged to have it made especially for him.
When the time came for her to present the gift to her husband, she was giddy with excitement. It was very obvious to him she had gone to a lot of effort to give this gift to him. The gift was a unique ring that had three parts to it. Each part strong on its own but more powerful as it was intertwined with one another. Each part was representing the three individuals who make up their family and the union of who they are together. Each part had their names inscribed.
Wow!! Definitely a gift to be treasured and remembered forever.
Like me, I’m sure you’re wondering what, if anything, he had prepared for her. And, this is where this story of love truly shows the devotion, selflessness, maturity, wisdom and integrity my young friend has. She knew her husband more than likely wouldn’t have bought her a gift as the weekend away was a gift they had bought each other to celebrate.
When she gave him his gift, he, of course, felt bad he hadn’t bought her something and my amazing friend told him how she truly didn’t expect a gift nor did she honestly mind that he hadn’t bought her something. She was also honest enough to share with me that in the past she would have been upset by this. However she has learnt that giving him a gift gives her so much pleasure as it is her love language, she was genuinely excited to have the opportunity to give this gift with nothing in return.
You see, when we understand what gifts are about we never need to receive one in return to feel satisfied. Of course, it is wonderful to receive however if we give so that we receive, it just minimises the expression to become manipulation.
This young woman is on the right road to having a marriage that will be full of value, honour, respect, kindness and all things that embody unconditional love. Love and gifts go hand in hand however it is the ability to give and have no expectations of return that allows us to know what gifts bring to a relationship.
Let’s not be superficial in our giving by turning this beautiful gesture into a time of manipulation, comparison and disappointment by expecting something in return. Let’s give with no strings attached, give just to show our love and appreciation.
This gift my young friend gave to her husband will mean more to him now and will potentially say more to him about her love knowing that she was so excited for him to receive it. What a beautiful place of freedom and peace to build, to grow and to live.
Susanna (remember to check out #littlemiraclescommunity on Instagram and stay connected to your centre)