We have probably all heard it at some stage. I have found this to be very true as I walk through life, I have unfortunately seen this come to pass over and over again.
Mostly when people hurt others it stems from a place within themselves that has been damaged by someone else and out of that place of pain they do or say something that creates pain for others.
I don’t think any of us are born with the desire to hurt others, unfortunately, we learn this behaviour often from experiences that we ourselves have been through.
The degrees of pain placed upon us often determine the degree of pain we place upon others in our lives. I think mostly we are not even deliberate about hurting others; it is a subconscious reaction from that place of hurt within ourselves.
For myself, I went through a lot of years really disliking anyone who was a teacher and this came from my place of pain around my journey of dyslexia. Of course, as I grew older, left school and expanded my world, I met a lot of very nice people who were teachers.
This bewildered me, and slowly and reluctantly I made friends with some of them and began to see they were actually human and most of them were very dedicated to educating the next generation. They didn’t have two heads like I had thought while I was struggling through school, they had felt like the rest of us and instead of fighting them I could actually become friends with them.
You see out of my place of pain came my reactions towards them. I sent a few of them out of their rooms in tears which didn’t give them the desire to get to know my potential either. They did not see what I was capable of because they were not trained to look beyond my reading and writing skills. I was underestimated by most of my teachers, and so the cycle went on from 5th grade until I left school.
They disliked me, I disliked them, I got hurt by teachers and the system, I hurt teachers in return and the system got offset free. The point is, I have found that while unfortunately, it is very true that hurting people, hurt people, I have also discovered through being valued myself I am able to value others and deliberately place value upon the people in my life.
As I learnt this secret I began to walk in a freedom that is so empowering of those in my life and also for myself. If we don’t know our own value, we can never know the true value of others. Once I learnt my own worth, significance and value it was so easy to be able to recognise that in everyone else.
I love to empower people to know their value and significance and we are all born with huge amounts, there is NO ONE ever born who is not extremely valuable.
I learnt my value as I grew in my relationship with Jesus. As I started to truly understand and experience first-hand His extravagant love for me I started to see how valuable I am (to Him) even without perfection.
It is not common for us to deliberately look for ways to place value upon others, we are usually looking and expecting others to devalue us and so we go into protection mode and even worse defence mode, which just creates more hurt and pain.
However, I have found the more value I deliberately place on others without expecting any gain for myself, life becomes so much more enjoyable and exciting with less pain and hurt along the journey.
The funny thing is, my life now is full of wonderful friends who are teachers, some of them travel with me to train other teachers overseas and I am surrounded with the most wonderful staff who educate the next generation beautifully.
I have such a strong respect for teachers now and I spend a lot of my life deliberately value upon them as we together place value on each child we come in contact with. When I look back at my perception of teachers when I was young and hurting, they were the enemy and now two of my own children are Educators and so many of my closest friends. Funny how things can change so completely!
The business of childcare that I have entered into is all about teaching. Teaching little children to love learning and grow up to be kind and to value others. Teaching them that they (themselves) are valued. Even from a young age, this is important.
I want to encourage us all to be looking for ways to go out of our way to place value on other people no matter who they are. Start with little things, start with just those closest to you and watch the blessings you receive yourself when you see their reactions.
What we sow is what we reap, sow value and you will reap value, sow hurt and you will reap hurt. Don’t hold onto hurt because it will eat you up, and one of the best ways to walk in freedom yourself is to add value to others around you. It is so empowering, try it and see, even if you just start with one person and go from there.
I said earlier, the degree of pain that has been placed on us often determines the pain we place on others. I believe it is also true that the degree of value placed upon us often determines the degree of value we place on others.
If you want to be valued, go ahead and place value on others, tell them over and over, show them by your actions and words how valuable they are. Go on a journey of discovering your own true value, it’s amazing and if I can help you in any way let me know.